The Seven Best Ancient Civilizations for Dance Clubs

Ancient Civilizations may have been warlike, sexist, violent and bloodier than a episode of Game of Thrones, but at some point they had to put down their spears to get their drinking on and dance!  Here now are the Seven Best Ancient Civilizations for Dance Clubs.

1. The Roman Empire:  Hands down, the best.  Roman nightclubs were, at minimum, a place to drink, dance, hold an orgy and then repeat until everyone was passed out.  Oh, sure, they stole most of the Gods from the Greeks, but they rebranded and got back to the party!

2. The Aztecs:  The Aztecs built impressive, tall, tiered dance club and no one went home until someone got their heart ripped out and thrown to the crowd.  They invented chocolate, so the bars were well stocked with Chocolate-tinis.

3.  The Vandals:  When your entire civilization sounds like the people that write dirty limericks on bathroom stalls, you obviously had to have built some clubs.  Sure, the Romans could party, but no one could trash a hotel room like the Vandals.  When you’re the bad boys of the Middle Ages, you know how to party.

4.  The Vikings:  Wearing Flavor Flav hats sans the giant clock, the Vikings were like pirates that attacked land instead of ships and stabbed you in the face rather than parlay.  Most of their clubs were like raves, moving from location to location until a good spot full of booty was found.

5.  The Mongols:  The Mongols were like the Vikings on horseback.  Genghis Khan and Kubla Khan being their head DJ’s at all times.  Their version of bottle service involved decapitating an enemy filling his skull with a Mai Tai.

6.  The Māori:  The little known New Zealander tribe are like the live action equivalent of Klingons without the Shakespeare.  Tough as nails and fearsome on the battlefield, they’re just as fearsome on the dance floor or doing a haka.

7.  The Egyptians:  How can you not include the civilization that invented beer?  Pharaohs wanted to party in this life and the after, which is why their best dancing slaves were sealed in their tombs with them.  They couldn’t go anywhere without a good entourage.

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