So you’re dancing in a club, or relaxing in a crowded pub on a Saturday night, and all of a sudden, you see your dream mate. Their skin shines like sweaty diamonds, their hair glistens in the strobe light, and you know you just have to get to know them. So you make your way across the room, shoving well-meaning partygoers aside like you’re Moses parting the Red Sea, and give this person your most suave, irresistible line. And they, of course, immediately reply with, “WHAT?? I CAN’T HEAR YOU!”
We have all experienced the inconvenience of trying to hold a conversation in a noisy place, and with the popularity of EDM music and constantly improving stereo systems, the problem is only going to get worse. So here are some helpful tips if you find yourself wanting to chew the fat while Fatboy Slim screams in your ear.
1. Try to find a quieter location
If you are just making introductions, this could be tricky, but if you’re just trying to chat with a friend, you can always try leading them to somewhere where the noise is less oppressive. Occasionally the actual bar is quieter, and if you smoke, popping outside for a quick one is always a good trick. If you’ve tried making introductions and the person still can’t hear you, try beckoning and saying “Follow me.” 50/50 if they actually go, but it’s worth a try! However, if you don’t smoke, or it’s too bitterly cold, or there’s just nowhere quiet to go, move on to tip #2.
2. Get really good at body language
I once had a man introduce himself by miming his first name (his name was Loki though, so maybe that’s an easy one). If you’re really good at charades, this is your way to go.
3. Smile and nod even though you can’t hear
We all do this anyway, but it can get dangerous. You never know when somebody just told you their uncle died in a tragic coffee bean spill. So use this tip with caution.
4. Type to each other on your phones
I wonder why people don’t use this technique more. It’s just like passing notes in class! Just type something on your phone and hold it up for them to read. Bonus points if you find the app that says “Do you like me? Check yes, check no”
5. Don’t talk, just dance
Just jerk your head towards the dance floor, they’ll follow you, and then let your body do the talking. Hey it worked for Patrick Swayze, I’m sure it will work for you too.
6. Drink more
The universal language of alcoholism that holds us all together. Get your intended a shot and take it together. Instant connection. Unless it’s jäger. DO NOT BRING ANYONE JÄGER EVER.
You’re going to be doing this if you’re drinking more anyway.