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10 Songs NOT to Include on Your Wedding Playlist

From tragically tacky to just plain inappropriate, here’s a list of songs to keep off your reception playlist.

1. “We Are Family” It’s just so corny. Your family is obviously there with you celebrating your big day.

2. “Blurred Lines” Robin Thicke: A song so marred by controversy, you know you (don’t) want it anywhere near your special day.

3. “Cha Cha Slide” Yes, I know that everyone loves line dances. But not every wedding has to have one. It gets tiring after a while plus it’s much more fun to make up your own dance moves.

4. “Macarena” Los Del Rio: Just like Furbies and the phrase “Wassssupppp” somethings are just better to leave in the 90’s.

5. “Every Breath You Take” The Police: This song is not cute and it’s not romantic. It’s about stalking someone. For Pete’s sake, take a listen to the lyrics next time it’s on the radio.

6. “My Heart Will Go On” Celine Dion: Another 90s relic that’s best to just leave where it is.

7. “Gold Digger” Kanye West: This one needs no explanation.

8. “I Hate Everything About You” Three Days Grace: Yeah, unless this is a snide jab at your new MIL, I’d leave this one off.

9. “Sexual Healing” Marvin Gaye: Save the steam for the honeymoon please and thank you.

10. “All My Exes Live In Texas” George Strait: Your wedding day is not the day to bring up past flings, even if they are in fact citizens of the Lone Star State.

Best Wedding Dance Routines

This seemingly-normal entrance turned funky

This His Vs. Hers Dance Battle

The wedding ceremony that basically turns into a musical

A couple with a love for MJ

And this groovy one

The dance that makes us lose control

 The couple that’s all about dirty dancing

This Breakdancing Couple

These Newlyweds who are in “California Love”

 

Even Snakes Can Dance: 10 Critters Who Can Bust A Move

Cockatoo

If you’ve got any kind of finger on the pulse of pop culture, you’ve seen Snowball’s youtube channel. This sassy little parrot has made a career out of rocking out to the Backstreet Boys like it’s 1999. Check him out:

My Dog Spot

Ok, so it’s not my dog. And it’s name is actually Stuart, but let’s not split hairs! This little fella has the salsa style down pat and errbody knows it.

Gorillas

Little known fake-fact: B-boying started in the Congo. Mighty Joe Young was not-actually the forefather of the dance! But really, here’s one of his descendants making us humans look bad:

Cats

To the especially hopeless: let this be a lesson. There’s nothing a catchy jingle and some clever editing can’t fix.

The Superb Bird of Paradise

Last time I tried to puff my head out and hop around a lady, it didn’t go so well. Now it all makes sense:

Penguins

Didn’t you know? Happy Feet was actually a documentary. Although you’d never guess it from the distinct lack of Morgan Freeman voiceover.

Elephants

And no, I’m not referring to the big drunk guy that steps on my toes and spills my drink at a Rihanna concert; I’m talking literal elephants. Just keep your martini close.

Cobras

So you say you’ve got two left feet? Poppycock! Says the charmed serpent. Evolution may not have been kind to nature’s perpetual less-thans, but no one can deny this swag:

Squirrels

They may be skittish, but these little creatures sure know how to bust a move. But of course, it helps when you’re sexy and you know it.

Blue Footed Booby

Sure, they’re not the prettiest birds on the planet, but their colorful feet alone drive the opposite sex cuckoo. Because – duh – gettin’ lucky is all about showing off your best parts.

Dance Floor Alter-Egos

Nervous to Bust a Move? Try One of These Alter-Egos on the Dance Floor

“Just be yourself.” “Be the best YOU that you can be.” We’ve all heard how wonderful our true selves are, but when it comes to dancing at a club or a social event, sometimes just being YOU is simply not going to cut it.

Just being YOU can lead to some really mortifying, let’s-pretend-that-never-happened moments.

So unless you’re 100% confident in your own dancing personality, I suggest trying something/someone new. Even if you just need a little confidence, inspiration, or a quick disguise to get rid of that dude you met that one time that one night who just saw you across the bar, try on one of these alter-egos and be a brand new YOU!

1) The Class Clown
Everyone loves the class clown. This is one of the easiest alter-egos as it requires little to no actual dancing skill. Never told a joke in your life? That’s ok. You don’t have to actually be funny- you’re terrible dancing will do that job for you. Just unleash your wildest, goofiest moves, and people will be howling in no time. The best part about the class clown is that it intimidates no one. Your own confidence in your lack of skill will attract other less-skilled people from all across the bar. Better to be laughed with than laughed at…

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2) The Mystery Wo/Man
While the class clown is great for getting laughs, sometimes you’re in need of a more serious alter-ego that can bring in a serious suitor. Unlike the class clown that lays it all out on the floor, the Mystery Woman or Man leaves questions unanswered and desires unfulfilled. To start, you’ll want to dress sleek and sophisticated. Dressing in all black never hurts. Now, stand off to the side of the dance floor, sipping casually on your drink. Don’t appear aloof or uninterested, but rather sway side to side as you scan the dance floor. You’re so mysterious; you have dark secrets from your past and a lifetime of adventures never shared. People will wonder: Why is she alone? Where did he come from? Does she want to dance with me? Who IS he?! These burning questions will leave your pursuer completely perplexed and enamored, just begging to know more.

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3) The Foreigner
No dance skills? No bar etiquette? No game? It’s ok! You’re not from here! No one blames the world-travelling foreigner. The foreigner is always more exciting, more interesting, and makes for a way better story than that guy from Michigan. Pick a country you have some basic knowledge of, geographically in the least. From there, you really don’t need to know much more! Just constantly be confused about America and ask lots of questions. Your cluelessness is so adorable they could just eat you up!

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4) The Life of the Party
Even if you find yourself crippled with social anxiety and self-doubt, you can still be the life of the party! It’s all about acting. All you have to do is impersonate that obnoxious club-goer you see every weekend who acts like they own the place (think any Jersey Shore cast member). Throw in some fist pumps and shrieks of joy and laughter and you’ll have people fooled in to thinking that you really are the most outgoing party animal in town. It doesn’t matter if you know no one around you, if you would rather be watching Netflix at home, or if your actual dancing is less than impressive. Your seemingly effortless confidence and enthusiasm for the dance floor will attract others. Fake it ‘til ya make it for this one!

lifeoftheparty

So, next time you find yourself at the club feeling a little uneasy, don’t be ashamed to throw YOU out the window. Put on a character or two and see how ya feel. If something goes wrong, blame it on the alter-ego! And who knows, maybe you’ll find that your new persona isn’t that different from the real you after all…

Easy Dance Moves for Guys

So you went to the club last weekend and noticed everyone doing the same thing: grinding. There’s nothing wrong with the grind, but let’s be honest it definitely tends to look and get a bit robotic at times: 

Throwing some new dance moves into the mix will definitely impress some ladies. Try out some of these easy dance moves for guys.

The Wave

The Shuffle Step

How to Pop

The Basic Groove

The James Brown

These easy dance moves should be enough for the average, club-going guy. They’re easy to learn and master in just a matter of days. But what if you want to really steal the show and dance like this guy:

If that’s the case, then you’re going to need something a little more comprehensive, like one of our club dancing DVDs. They are available in both DVD and digital format!

Learn club dance

Tips on Fighting Your Way Out of a Dance Club During a Zombie Apocalypse

The zombies are coming, it’s only a question of when.  The Walking Dead isn’t just a horrible drama on AMC, it’s an instruction manual on what to look for in a zombie apocalypse.  (Hang with the guy with the crossbow.)  But you’re not some Georgia redneck in the woods, you’re an urban club goer.  You’ll probably be three martinis deep when the undead burst onto the dance floor and start biting everyone in the club.  Here now are Tips for Fighting Your Way Out of a Dance Club During a Zombie Apocalypse.

1. Get your back to a wall:  Even if you’re stuck in the restroom, you need to keep the potential zombies in front of you where you can see them.  With all the lights and noise, you’re not going to hear them coming up behind you so eliminate that threat.

2. Grab a weapon:  Potential weapons found in the club, best to worst:  Fire extinguisher, table leg, knife from the bar, piece of sculpture that’s club-shaped, whiskey bottle and finally, your purse.  Come to think of it, forget the purse unless you’ve got a metal nail file in there.  You’re probably better off punching the zombies with your fist.

3. Repeat the zombie rules:  Remember, there are women here and many of them have not seen a lot of the zombie movies you have.  “Do not let them bite you!  Aim for the head!  Double tap to make sure they’re dead!”  Even the most remedial zombie fighter should be able to grasp these instructions.

4. Head for the roof:  Unless there’s an obvious exit that isn’t choked with panicking club goers or hordes of undead, the roof is your best bet.  Keep control of the access door, find a fire axe and cut out several steps.  Live humans can jump the gap in the steps, but zombies will just fall right through.  And if you have to get off the roof, there’s bound to be a ladder or fire escape that is zombie-free.

5.  Avoid dead ends:  Hiding in the restroom or the DJ booth might seem like a great idea during the initial attack, but these areas are death traps in the club.  With no escape, the zombies will eventually kill everyone, doubling or tripling their numbers, making it easy for them to push their way into whatever little space you thought was safe.

6.  Hit the lights:  What would really help distinguish your average club goer from a blood-thirsty corpse is regular lighting.  Strobe lights and colored lights just confuse everything, so if there’s anyway you can turn up the lights so everyone can see what’s happening in the chaos, you might actually help yourself and others survive.

7.  Ditch the high heels:  Those $300 pumps looked great walking in, but they are useless when trying to outrun a mob of shambling undead guys.  The last thing you need is to break a heel trying to run away.

8.  Cover up:  Zombies are going to try to bite you, so if you can get to your jacket put it on.  The less skin you expose, the less vulnerable you are.

Bonus Tips:  Things Not to Do

1.  Don’t light the zombies on fire:  This just makes them scream more and light other things on fire.

2.  Don’t follow the bouncers:  They’ll be heading right for the zombies under the false impression that they’ll be able to stop them.

3.  Don’t trust someone that got bit:  Someone who is bit will soon be a zombie.  Keep your distance and don’t turn your back.  You’ll be bashing this person’s skull in momentarily.

4.  Don’t bother  to call the cops or EMT’s:  Since it’s unlikely patient zero was in the club at the time of the first infection, it’s quite likely the cops have their hands full all over the city.  Most of the EMT’s and hospital staff are probably dead already anyway.  Anyone that still answers the phone is not going to believe what’s happening until it’s too late.  Call your friends and relatives with guns if you call anybody.

 

 

 

Learn How to Dance

If you’re reading this, then you’ve decided to stop being such a nerd at parties and you want to learn how to dance. If you want to learn how to dance, you need to start with a goal in mind.  Are you dancing for a specific upcoming event? For example, are you trying to learn how to dance at prom? Or maybe you’re just a weekend warrior and want to learn how to grind. Or perhaps you’re one of the brave few who want to seriously take the time and effort to become a truly good dancer.  Regardless of your reasons, you need to start somewhere.

Step 1: Just Dance.

The fact is some people are just naturally better at dancing than others. No matter where you are on the talent scale, this shouldn’t deter you because hard work and consistency will get you to where you want to be. Just take a moment to watch this video of a guy learning to dance over the course of a year:

To learn how to dance is a process. Even if you want to learn a single move to impress that hot girl or guy at your next party, you need to practice a lot. No one completely novice at dancing can learn a complex dance set overnight.

Step 2: Learn some moves

The next step in learning how to dance, after you establish your goals and get a baseline sense of your dancing ability, is to learn some moves. However, before you get overzealous and throw your back out trying to do a headspin, make sure you are picking the moves that are appropriate for your level. If you have previous experience dancing, try something more advanced, like this:

If you’re a beginner, try the knee drop:

Again, it all depends on what your goals are that determines the best kind of dance move to learn. It would be weird if you decided to break out the moonwalk during a slow dance wedding party. Then again, maybe you’re a complete bad ass and have the confidence to pull anything off.

Step 2a: Choose your method of learning

This is important because however you decide to learn, you must stick with it consistently! If you have a problem with self-motivation and need someone to help you, dancing classes is the way to go. Check out websites like Yelp or Google and type in the type of dance class you want.

However, if you have no problem with consistency, then there are tons of free videos online that you can use. Check out the Learn Club Dance channel to start.

However, the thing with free material is that it only brushes upon the different kinds of moves you can do. If you want something much more comprehensive, but don’t want to spend hundreds of dollars on a class, pick up a dance DVD.

Step 3: Putting it all together

So you learned a few dance moves and now you want to get out there and start spontaneous dance battles:

Keep up that enthusiasm, but unless you’re the reincarnation of Fred Astaire, take it step by step. After learning a few dance moves, you want to be able to put them all together in one, fluid, naturally occurring motion. What do I mean by that? Well when you learn how to dance, you’ll think of dancing as specific “steps”, but the goal here is to mesh all the steps into one without making it look like you’re thinking of the next move. Take this Usher choreography for instance:

Learning how to dance is simple, but it won’t be easy. But if you keep up with your practice, you’ll be able to smash dance floors in no time.

To speed up the learning process, check out our DVDs:

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Six Clothing Items Men Should NEVER Wear out on the Town. EVER!

Fashion Police

Open up, it’s the Fashion Police! We’ve had a few complaints coming from your neighbors and we’ve come to issue you a citation. No sir we can’t tell you who called in, that’s classified information. Alright, fine, we’re going to let you off with a warning THIS time, but unfortunately we’ll have to confiscate these six clothing items so you may never inflict them on the public ever again.

Fedoras

#1 Fedoras
Gentleman, please, I think we all know that these have had their day. Now they remain the domain of neck beards and Nice Guys from the dark corners of the Internet. Yes, Cary Grant looked fabulous in one, but that was in 1955. You are not him, and unless you are attending a costume party where it is specifically called for, fedoras are simply not permitted. Trilbies and top hats are included, by the way, and we don’t want to hear any arguing about the difference. In the bag, please.

Shorts

#2 Shorts
Now we know, we know, shorts have their utility. But just like alcohol, they have to be taken in moderation, and should only be allowed in public in controlled situations. Shorts are for working out, the beach, and maybe a few other outdoorsy activities such as hiking, though fewer than you think considering the brambles and snakes out there in the wild. You have no business wearing shorts to any occasion which does not include these activities, and will be appropriately cited if you do so. And by the way, jean shorts? Never, never, never, NEVER. Jorts are an even more unforgivable sin, boys. They’re ugly, they’re tacky, and they chafe. Just back away, and surrender all your jorts to us.

Popped Collars

#3 Popped Collars

We know what you’re thinking. You’ve spent a long day slaving away at your soul-sucking desk job, and now it’s time to go out, cut loose, and impress all the folks. So naturally, to show how cool and tough you are, and also that it’s time to party, you turn up that collar. And you know what it makes you look like? A douche. There, we said it, it’s out there. You are not the Fonz, and frankly, it didn’t even really work for him either (sorry, Henry Winkler). There is one single appropriate time to turn up your collar: when there is an unexpected cold wind and you’re trying to protect your cheeks and neck from an uncomfortable chill. YES, your collar actually has a PURPOSE, except for the ones that are mostly decorative on short-sleeved polos (which we can’t outright condemn due to their necessity, but mostly frown upon). So please, unless you’re trying to fend off the icy bite of a bitter London winter, keep your collars down, in their rightful positions. Then we won’t be forced to take you in for looking like a deranged Duke frat boy.

wifebeater1

#4 Wife Beater

As the hilarious and wise comedian Louis C.K. so eloquently put it, why are you wearing a shirt named after a crime? A better name is “sleeveless tank” and sure, they’re great to use as undershirts. But when you’re wearing them outside, by themselves, in the world at large you look lazy, and like a man who watches a little too much NASCAR and drinks cartons of Coors Light. Hanging out in the house in them, or even taking out the garbage in one once in a while, no problem. But if you run into your neighbors while you’re doing your daily chores in this shirt, try at least have the decency to act embarrassed, because, let’s face it, you look like a bum.

Mary Maxim

#5 Mary Maxim Style Sweaters

Hey there, hippy. Have you no shame? Now we’re not trying to besmirch the traditional knitting of the Cowichan Tribe, which is where this technique of needlework originated. Indeed, the company Mary Maxim co-opted this style in the 1950s to make a buck. After the sweaters covered with patterns of American wildlife fell out of fashion, they continued to haunt the closets of Pacific Northwesterners and clueless fashion victims everywhere. Yeah, we know they’re warm, but they’re also just plain ugly. Find yourself a nice, neutral colored windbreaker, and then you can go hug all the trees you want.

Sandals With Socks

#6 Sandals With Socks

Must this really be said? Haven’t we, as a society, learned our lesson? Well, apparently not, because this affront to human decency has recently made its way onto the runways at New York Fashion Week. Well, we don’t care what the chi-chiest of the chi-chi say, we’re the Fashion Police, and we are the law. And the law is, when it comes to socks and sandals, you have to pick one. Why would you wear both at the same time anyway? Doesn’t putting on socks completely ruin the point of wearing sandals entirely? What occasion is there where you’ll want to dress as casually as sandals allow, yet also need to keep your feet and lower calves warm? Don’t answer that, it’s a hypothetical question. But you know, just in case the moment arises, wear moccasins instead, and keep yourself on the right side of Fashion Justice.

 

Most Comfortable Shoes To Dance All Night In (Wedding Edition)

When I attend weddings, I find myself agonizing weeks before on what shoe to wear, only to be kicking them under the table by the reception so I can dance away without possible injury or embarrassment. While plenty of people opt for the shoe-ditch method, I find it to be kind of gross when you think about it. You have to worry about getting a pedicure or whether or not your feet smell. Why not have a good time while looking good as well?

I find that my go-to shoe for weddings is the simple, tasteful ballet flat. It’s dressy enough to wear with a cocktail dress and practical enough to make it through a round of “Cotton Eyed Joe”. And the great thing about ballet flats is that they’re usually on the inexpensive side and come in a huge variety of colors and styles. Here are a few that I thought would be awesome for a wedding.

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Now, if flat shoes are not appealing to you, my next choice would have to be the ever-reliable wedge. Wedges are a relatively-new style invention and offer a sexy amount of height with dance-proof practicality. Some wedges are more casual than others, so make sure you pick one that is elegant enough not to stand out like a sore thumb. You can find closed-toed, peep-toed or strappy varieties. Here are a few of my picks.

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Some weddings are a little less formal than others. If you are attending a wedding of a couple who tends to do things a little on the unorthodox side, I would recommend a good pair of Converse high or low-tops. Especially when paired with a suit, they give you a classy yet approachable look that will certainly be popular with the ladies.

cons

My last pick for comfortable wedding shoes is really only appropriate if you are attending a summer, beach or destination wedding. Flip Flops come in all styles, from basic and rubber to bedazzled and leather. There’s a big disagreement in the wedding world over whether or not flip flops are wedding-attire-apropro so make sure you know the personality of the newlyweds before breaking out the thongs.

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How to Dance for Beginners

If you’re a beginner, how do you learn how to dance? Well first, let’s explore what it means to be a beginner. Beginners are people who have the absolute bare minimum in dancing experience. These people may have been to a club once, or twice, but instead of trying to dance, they looked like this:

Learn Club Dance

If that describes you, then you’re in the right place. We’ll take you from that to looking like this:

Good kid dancer

 

He may be just a kid, but he teaches us an important first lesson about dancing: Just dance.  You’ll never be able to get to the level you want to be at if you aren’t able to just let loose and have fun. Just look at Taylor Swift. Horrible dancer, but who cares because she’s having a BLAST:

 

Once you’re able to do that, you’ll need to learn how to dance to the beat of a song:

The above video is crucial for those who want to learn how to dance at nightclubs and other evening venues where the music is loud and the people just want to let loose.

That being said, not every dance move or lesson you learn will be applicable to every style of dance. If you want to learn how to dance for beginners, it’s important to make this distinction, or you’ll just look silly and out-of-place:

 

First try this beginner’s dance move first:

Once you get the hang of that, try something a little more advanced:

What if you want to learn how to dance with a partner? The above videos will help you get used to moving your body, but they are really just moves for solo dancing. If you want to be able to dance with a partner, the most important thing is to find a partner to practice with. You can watch all the videos and read all the blog posts you want, but that’s just as useful as a teenager watching a Bruce Lee movie and trying to take on his high school bully. It’s about repetition, practice, and applying what you learn to a live situation.

Let’s say you do have someone to practice some dance move with. Here are a few videos to help you get started:

Simple turn:

Salsa step:

Another thing to note here is dancing with a partner is largely about rapport. One partner leads, while another follows. If both try to lead you’ll get a result to similar to something like this:

Dance head kick fail

Maybe you won’t end up head kicking your partner, but you can definitely count on a crushed toe or two.

Putting it all together yourself can be quite difficult. Our dance DVDs will show you how to pull off the exact moves in this article, as well as help you put them together in a fluid sequence, step-by-step.

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