Bros before…. How’s the saying go? Saturday night is here and its guys night out. You’re pretty fly for a white guy and you’re ready to take that hottness to the dance floor. Ladies love a man who can move because those hips don’t lie in other areas of life. Just like girls, guys have their signature dance moves. You HAVE and WILL bust these moves out in the club!
This involves grinding. When the girl plops her booty down on the guy, his instant reaction is to sway right to left. 90% of the time you’re out of sync with the music and your girl. But hey! WHO CARES! You got a nice booty on your lap so let your hips swing boy.
Ain’t nobody messing with my Clique.
This is a classic. You’re out with your boys and each of you have a girl by your side. You’re all impressed by your ability to dance with this pretty young thing. You give each other a head nod followed by a few high fives and you’re feeing like the man. You might just be dude. You might just be.
I wish I had a more creative name for it but it is what it is. EDM has hit every club and you’re sure to hear some Avicii which means only one thing- Go bat shit crazy! You’re so hyped up and you’re bouncing off the walls. Your feet go with every beat and before you know it you’re about to trip and fall but you keep your cool and continue to rage. Don’t you worry child, your dance moves are killer. You rave junky you!
That hot new Kayne jam drops and you’re feeling the music. You close your eyes and fall into the music. There’s little body movement besides a relaxed sway and a few hand gestures. It’s you and the song and you’re loving every minute of it. Bitch, don’t kill my vibe.
I gotta pee I gotta pee I gotta pee hey hey hey HEY!
It’s pretty simple. If you got to pee then PEE! Your bladder will thank you later.
End of discussion.
“I just need to get one more drink”
Excuses excuses excuses. This is for all you fellas that don’t really want to be on the dance floor so you tell your friends “I just need one more drink.” Hopefully that “one more drink” will give you the liquid courage to get out there shake your tail feather.
“There’s vomit on his sweater already, mom’s spaghetti.” You’re probably not the next great rapper but when your hands go up and your rhymes are sick, you’ll sure as hell feel like you’re the next best thing.
Do you prefer khakis over jeans? Are you a 56 year old dad just trying to hang? Introducing the snap. You’ll look as corny as you feel.
The Foot Tap
We typically see this move from bouncers. The vibe is right and the music is on point but they have to contain their excitement since they’re on the job. That 4am call time will be here soon enough and you’ll be able to throw on your boots with the fur and get low.
Get your drink on, throw you mink on, Let your head nod
These wise words were once spoken by LL Cool J but lets face it, head nodding is NOT a dance move. If you’re going to dance, then dance! Keep your head nodding for answering yes or no questions.
We all have seen them or most likely have a friend who is him. He creeps on every girl in the club and sometimes feels brave enough to walk up and try to dance with a female whose far out of his league. Even TLC didn’t want a real creep.
Please stop making out already! This move requires a serious lip lock. The mood is set right and you might as well be watching a soft core porn.
Unless you’re magic mike please keep your clothes on..
Popped a Molly now I’m sweating..
Blank Stare? Bugged out eyes? In a trance? Just say no kids.
The Running Man
The best move ever. Breaking out this dance move will not only guarantee a huge “OHHHH SHIT” but will also have you feel like the fresh prince of Bel-Air.
Every girl hates that guy and every guy has been THAT guy. Sure it’s probably an accident but no one wants to have a drink spilled on them. Do it again, and mamas gonna knock you out.
Female+you+ another female= The Sandwich and it tastes damn good!
Step up Club Edition
This move requires some serious skill and if you got it then you NEED to show it. It’s time for a dance battle. You walk up to the biggest baddest dancer and bust out all the stops. Pop lock and drop it. It becomes a scene in you got served and baby, you did the serving. Props to you. Play on playa.