I used to hate clubs. Why would I subject myself to the pimped out bouncer who looks like he might have a heart attack before the end of the night. Why would I subject myself to velvet ropes and pretentious women when I can get drunk with my friends at my favorite pub? Pubs are easy. Clubs are hard. Right? Wrong.
Where do women go without men? Clubs, Chip and Dales, and Museums. Since the latter two are most definitely out, clubs are the way to go. And since most clubs keep a strict 1:1 ratio (or try to anyway) you know your competition is limited. Guys, be prepared to purchase bottle service and a table if you’re traveling in packs of more than three. But if it’s just the three musketeers and you have some patience, you’ll make it in easy. Remember not to give the bouncers any excuse not to let you in though. Make sure you’re dressed for the occasion. This means you should leave you baseball cap at home, trade your sneakers for some shoes, and try to have some fun on line. Bouncers can sense whether you’ll be an addition to the club or a lame groping trio so try to keep the conversation going and the complaining to a minimum – especially when people cut. They know someone you don’t and even though I hate them too, there’s nothing we can do about it.
Back to clubs. It takes a few trips to the club to get comfortable. Try different ones to see which ones match your vibe. Some have lounges where you can talk and rest in between dancing while others have seats that are exclusive only to bottle service (which means you’re standing the whole night). Clubs have different shapes and sizes which a have huge impact on the people and vibe. You’ll see pretty soon though that clubs are not that intimidating and have much more to offer than pubs.
The dance floor is just full of women dancing in a group and the bar is just full of women listening to boring finance talk for a few free cocktails. The dance floor: so many girls dancing, so few guys. Why? It amazes me how fearful we get when it’s time to dance. For some of us, it’s the fear of rejection. For others its lack of confidence and skill I suppose. Whatever the reason, I can’t help but notice the vast amount of men standing on the perimeter of the dance floor, wanting so bad to get in, but stopping themselves.
I used to be just that way until my friend really showed me up. Never really aware of his surroundings, he’s the kind of guy who never gets embarrassed). With no reservations and an air of confidence, he glides up to groups with a smile and always steals a girl away. Now I know what you’re thinking. Telling you confidence is the key is a cop out. After all, confidence can’t be built overnight and certainly not from a few poorly written paragraphs.
So how can you get the confidence to approach any woman you want? One way is to think of something that you’re really good at. Try to think about how you’re so much better at something than the people around you in the club (in your head of course). Look smug like you’ve found something really funny and keep your head up high. Overcome the anxiety of being in a large crowded place with strangers and get over the fact that others are judging you. The truth is you’re another face and no one even notices you. Make a mental note of what others are doing but don’t compare yourself to anyone. Remember that you’re the man and make sure to think of that one thing that you’re really good at it.
The other way of course is to gain confidence from acquiring the right skills. Learning exactly how to dance in a club at home for example gives you the confidence you’ll need to do it in clubs. Why? Because you’ll know what others don’t? You’ll know the latest moves, you would have practiced them and, and you would have learned them cold. After you’ve learned how to dance, you’ll have what it takes to have more fun in clubs. You’ll know what others don’t. Imagine being that guy in the club surrounded by girls. It’s a thought that’s very possible and truly attainable. All you have to do is do your homework.
The moves you’ll learn and the confidence you’ll get from being completely prepared for any club dancing scenario will be priceless. It’ll improve your nights tremendously and allow you to have the kind of fun you’ve always imagined. Clubs are not that intimidating, you just have to know what you’re doing. It’s like snowboarding or baseball or riding a bike. Before you learn, you cringe at the idea and while you learn, you wish you never started to. It takes practice and commitment but once you’ve learned, you realize just how much fun it is.