If clubbing is something that puts you out of your comfort zone, (and believe me, it did just that to me for years), then have things to do when you go out to give you a purpose. That’s because it’s all about body language in a club where most women can tell right away if you’re not having fun.
If you are not used to going out to clubs, consider hitting up this list of “checkpoints,” each of which builds up your social proof and makes you more attractive to every woman in the club so that you never look lost and never give off that “lingering” vibe. Your job, from the first moment you walk in, so to make every woman believe that you are there just to have fun and that you are not there to pickup.
The club you go to IS important. You want to go to the same places, and get to know the staff. We’ll give a few tips on how to interact with bouncers and waitstaff to improve your social status and to make you feel comfortable below. Stop googling the coolest club in your town. Most high-end clubs have limited dancing because people don’t want to be judged (note, this is especially true in the big cities and in cities where there is a bigger lounge culture than dance club scene). Instead, go to a smaller venue (one with nooks and crannies as opposed to one large box where everyone can see your successes and failures), and keep going back week after week. Make friends with the staff and you’ll feel like home every time you go there.
Check out a club where your going to stand out. If you’re a student, check out an after work club. If your going to a club famous for attracting the finance crowd, wear a nice looking hoodie and tee-shirt. Your odds are going to improve tremendously when you’re the one to break from the mold.
Head out a little earlier than you would have otherwise. It’s easier to get into the nightclub of your choice and the people inside will be more accessible. Keep it to the three musketeers More than three men in your group will hurt your chances of getting into a nice place.
Make a few jokes and meet people waiting on line with you. People tend to be more receptive outside, men including women, and you can use the women you meet to build up your social proof once your inside.
Go out with women. Whether it’s your sister, your co-worker, or a group of women you just met in the pizzeria, going out with women immediately increases your attractiveness.
Make eye contact with the first woman you see when you walk in. Be confident. If she reciprocates, you’ve just found excellent social proof. If she’s by the entrance, that probably means she just walked in as well – which means shes more likely to respond since she doesn’t know that many people either. If you are stumped for openers, try commentating on the line, or tell her not to waste her time waiting for a drink at the bar in front of you, that you know of another one upstairs that has a lot less people.
Be the man when you walk in. Be pumped. Enjoy yourself. You’re there to have a good time. You know you can dance, you know the rules of the game, and you know that in a few minutes you’ll be dancing with one of the hottest girls in the club. Have a few drinks with your buddies back home before the club, chug a redbull, be energetic from the first moment you enter the club. Tap your toes, move your head, your hips, and have a smile on your face, a cocky smile that says I’m the man, I love clubbing, I am here to have tons of fun.
No one knows who you are when you enter the club. Therefore everything you do from that moment on either improves your social status (and your attraction), or decreases it. Don’t stare at anyone when you walk in. Simply meet eye contact with whomever is looking at you and reciprocate a smile. Make a mental note of which women were checking you out when you came in.
Make noise and laugh. Laugh even if theirs is nothing to laugh about. Laugh because your friend is laughing. The louder, more obnoxious, and oblivious to the world around you, you are, the more attractive you’ll be to the women around you.
Establish social proof in a certain section of the club. The more women you dance with and have a good time with, the more other women in the area will want you. If you get rejected though, don’t attempt a quick rebound pick up right away. It’ll see like you are just playing the numbers game and are willing to talk to anyone.
Ok boys, I left this tip for last because I think it’s by the far most important. But it’s funny because every time I bring it up to my students, I always get a groan; they think its obvious. But let me tell you, having fun when you go out, whether it’s on the dance floor or off, is the single most important thing you can do to help your game in the club.
As we talked about earlier, the only thing to go by in the club is body language. And when you are having fun with your friends, your body reflects your emotions completely, making you levels more attractive to every woman in the club. Before you even go out, you’ve gotta get yourself in the right state of mind. Have a few beers with your boys. Check out your local radio station for a list of today’s most popular music and get used to hanging out to that music. Have a redbull. Have two. When you walk into a club and make eye contact with the first woman you see, everyone should know that you’re there to have fun. Clap your hands, tap your foot. Feel the music and pass on the energy. Call up friends you haven’t seen in a while so that you have tons to talk about you go out. When women see that you’re out to have fun with your friends and that you don’t have ulterior motives, they’ll automatically be attracted to you because you’ll be one of the only guys in the club with that state of mind. Then they’ll be the ones with the ulterior motive, and that’ll be to snap you up before another girl does,.
Having fun in the club is not easy, especially when its not your thing. Check out clubs that are slightly off the beaten track. It’s better to be the man in a smaller club than be lost in a more popular one. Frequent the same places on a regular basis and get in good with the staff. It’ll make you feel like home every time you go, make you feel more comfortable, and will sky rocket your social proof.
But I assure you, that after a few weeks out, especially with the success that you’ll have on the dance floor when you learn exactly how to dance in a club, you’ll wonder why you never hit up clubs before.