The Real Reason Picking Up Doesn’t Work
Clubs are a funny thing. Supposedly they are the best place for meeting women. But are they really? When was the last time you met someone and the interaction went well. Perhaps you got a number, or a date, or something to make the night more enjoyable. Probably not too often.
Well it’s because you guys are not going about clubs in the right way. Going up and talking to girls is just not productive.
There’s a ton of bright lights, pounding music, and tons of people screaming and yelling because their favorite song just went on. Even if she is interested, a conversation, at least a meaningful one that can lead somewhere is next to impossible. Don’t worry, it’s not you. It’s the surroundings.
And to be honest, she probably doesn’t care. And not because she’s mean or cold hearted, but because she’s in a nightclub.
People go to a coffeehouse to chat. People go to a club to party. Your conversation about where she’s from, what she does, and what she’s drinking is at best delaying her grabbing another round of shots with her girlfriends and dancing.
But you know what? This is actually what makes picking up girls in the club and on the dance floor so great.
There is no canned material to memorize. And you can forget those gimmicky approaches on the street. Forget cheesy pickup lines and leave that awkward small talk behind. Clubs are a place where you can say everything you need through with body language – whether it’s a smile or your dance moves. That’s why clubs are the best place to meet and attract girls.
The Truth Behind What They Really Want
What is the number one thing girl’s say they look for in a guy?
What do you think that says about guys who stand around the dance floor starring at the girls dancing but are too worried to approach? Nothing good!
Women want a guy to approach them who’s confident in himself and knows how to move. Everyone tries so hard to look good and avoid looking bad these days that even if she likes you, but not your moves, she will start hoping that noone is watching and will undoubtedly part ways with you shortly.
It doesn’t have to be that way.
Girl’s are not grinding up on each other to experience being bisexual for the night. It’s a warm thought – But just not the case.
They have noone else to dance with them. Most guys are either watching from afar, grinding way too early, or clumsily and doubtfully making their way over.
How To Become The Guy In The Club That Every Girl Wants
Two points on being in a club:
1. Always have fun. Whether its hanging with your friends, throwing back shots, dancing, or just having a conversation, make sure you’re enjoying whatever you are doing.
2. Never just stand around scoping out the club for girls to talk or dance with. If they see you doing this you might as well go home. Night’s over. You have just been placed in the same category as nearly every other guy in the club and that is the “he’s just out searching for targets” label.
In their eyes you want to be the fun, cool guy who’s out having a great time enjoying himself, chilling with his friends, dancing, grabbing drinks by the bar – that guy!
NOT someone who looks bored and tired and generally in a bad mood – because girls just want to meet guys who are fun, social and can show them a great time dancing with them.
And if you don’t have the moves down yet, don’t worry. You are not alone. Most guys have no idea how to dance, and its not their fault. Noone ever taught them. So when YOU get this down you will have such an edge over every other guy at the club that it won’t even be funny. You’ll get all the girls because you’ll be the one out there having a great time, drinking, dancing with tons of girls, being the fun, social, confident guy that every girl wants but can’t find.
But you have to go about the dance floor the right way rather than the wrong way. Walking up behind a girl and grabbing her to try to start grinding is not going to work. They’ll just give you that look and walk away. Of course you could play the numbers game and do this same exact thing with 15 or so girls and one girl will react positively because she’s just lonely and wants company.
But chances are she won’t be the one you want and this whole process will be filled with rejection and feel like work.
The Right Way To Approach Girls Dancing And Make Them Feel Comfortable
So what’s the answer?
First always approach a girl from the front. It makes her much more comfortable. Coming from the back is creepy and even though you might think sneaking up on her is a good strategy, she’ll just find it unpleasant. Always smile when approaching and dancing with the girl. Even though this seems small – its HUGE because this makes her infinitely more comfortable and lets her know you’re not a threat. Also remember to keep eye contact while approaching and dancing. This shows her you’re a confident guy which is an attractive quality.
These subtle techniques may seem trivial but they will have a huge impact on the dance floor. It’s all about conveying the correct image through body language and making her feel comfortable and attractive.
Start a bit further and then get closer and closer through smooth transitions. Your dancing with her at first should be to get comfortable around each other. Of course the situation changes when its 2 am, the club is packed, and everyone has had a few drinks. Then you could turn up the heat sooner, but be careful to still not do it right away. Dancing should be playful at first. Make her feel comfortable and let her know that you’re not like every other guy in the spot who’s just trying to get a lap dance.
How To Show Her The Time Of Her Life And Make Her Crazy For You
Girls LOVE when you spin them around. Use this knowledge so you can spin them into you, thereby bringing them in closer to make things more intense. When you don’t start immediately grinding with girls and take this route instead, most girls won’t be able to resist and will start grinding with you first.
Keep grinding for a bit and then pull back and just keep dancing. This almost never happens to her as every guy will just keep grinding until she gets bored and walks away. After a bit spin her into you again, perhaps placing her hand on your neck and start grinding with her again, a bit more intense now. After a short while stop again and just keep dancing. You’re teasing her and she’ll love you for it.
You’ll see a huge smile come across her face. You’ll be doing to her what she does to every guy, giving her a taste and then pulling away.
This whole thing will make her want you that much more.
If she’s with a group of girlfriends don’t just dance with one girl. Spread the love around. The easiest way to do this is when you’re grinding with her, playfully place your back onto one of her friends who will then start dancing up on you. This works almost every time because they see how much fun their friend is having and will want to get in on the action.
How To Make Every Girl In The Club Want And Chase You
They’ve probably never had this much fun dancing with a guy before because most guys don’t know what they’re doing. At this point, you can simply say you’re going to move on. Go the bar or start dancing with other girls, repeating the same exact steps. This will leave the original group hoping that you’d come back. They’ll talk about how much fun they just had and how cool and awesome you are. Then the jealousy they’ll experience seeing you have a great time with another group will drive them insane. You’ll see how they’ll begin following you around the club to try and get you back!
The best part is that there will be other guys who will approach the original group with the same old crap that doesn’t work – which will only reinforce how cool YOU are to the groups of girls trying to get you back.
This is what happens when you know what your doing. This will happen night after night you go out, week after week to the level where you’ll just start expecting it. And then you’ll get even more and have more girls chasing you in the clubs and on your cell than you’ll know what to do with. Other guys will still be trying to start conversations and ask them where they’re from and if they want another cocktail and more crap that doesn’t work, and 15 minutes later will see them dancing all over you wondering what you SAID to them.
It seems obvious how this will just happen with minimal work on your part. Girls just want to go out and dance and have a fun time. Noone except for you is willing to give them what they’re looking for. Is it any wonder then why they’ll chase you to have more fun again! While every other guy is doing things the old way, trying to grind with them and start meaningless conversations – they’ll be practically pushing the girls into your arms so all you have to do is show up and the night will repeat itself.
Now There’s Good News And There’s Bad News
The good news is that since practically no guys know what they’re doing on the dance floor NOW is the time for you to walk in and clean house. And it’s never been easier!
The bad news is that you can’t learn how to dance through words on a page. You can get the whole outlook on clubbing and meeting girls in clubs down which is absolutely critical, but the actual dance moves – everything from hot club moves, to smooth spin moves, to grinding variations, to approaching girls on the dance floor can’t be effectively taught through text. Just like you can’t learn to play soccer through an e-book, you need to be able to see each move being slowly explained, step by step so you could practice along.
Own The Dance Floor will teach you the hottest moves for the clubs so you can use them every night you go out. You will learn everything from approaching girls, to laid back moves to use by the bar or talking to a girl, to high momentum steps you can use to dance in a group, to grinding moves, to flirtatious spin moves and transitions, to eye-catching moves you can use to show off. We get exactly what you’re looking for and deliver it in an entertaining, easy-to-learn, step-by-step manner.
Unscripted commentaries throughout the video from girl club goers reveal exactly what they’re looking for in guys on the dance floor. They cover everything from how they want to be approached and danced with to common mistakes most guys make consistently.
Knowing and understanding what we just talked about is a huge help and will certainly give you an edge. But without the moves and confidence that comes from knowing exactly what you’re doing you won’t be as successful nor as quickly as you could be.
For just $27 you could learn exactly how to dance in clubs and start living the life you’ve always wanted. Isn’t that a fair deal?
Actually no – isn’t that an incredible deal? If you knew without a doubt that you could learn the hottest moves and get this area of your life handled, what would that be worth? What would you be willing to pay to get tons of fun, sexy girls dancing, flirting all over you every night you went out? Perhaps a DROP more than 20 bucks?
And yet that’s all it will cost you. In fact, we are so confident in our product that we want you to try it risk free. That’s right. Order the DVD now and it will come with a 2 week 100% Money Back Guarantee, INCLUDING shipping costs. If you’re not completely satisfied, we’ll refund your money – no questions asked!
What are you waiting for? Order the DVD now, receive it in three days and start living the life you’ve always wanted!
You and your boys are at the club, dancing up a storm. But for some reason none of the girls there are interested in dancing with you (and you thought the worm would get any girl excited). You’re going to have to take drastic measures to dance with a girl tonight. Just don’t try any of the ideas below.
1. Tape dollar bills to your chest.
2. Dare them to do it.
3. Tell them their butt’s on fire and you have to grind it out.
4. Dress up like their best friend and sneak on the dance floor.
5. Pay them $50 to dance with you.
6. Have your friends create a wall of bodies to keep her on the dance floor at all times.
7. Hook a bungee cord in between your belts.
8. Hire a hypnotist .
9. Take her family hostage and demand she dance for their freedom.
10. Pay her $100 on top of that $50 to not call the cops.
11. Bribe the DJ to play her favorite song all night long.
12. Threaten to dance with little sister if she doesn’t.
13. Use a lasso.
14. Get a devil to possess her.
15. Ask a ouija board to see if she a ghost will come down and make her dance with you.
16. Turn off all the lights in the club so she can’t see who she is dancing with.
17. Grease the dance floor so she slides into your arms
18. Hire actors to pretend to be terrorists taking over the club and her one chance to save the hostages is to break it down.
19. Build a time machine to make you King of All That Dance.
20. Hide a magnet in her purse and wear your large metal belt buckle.
I used to hate clubs. Why would I subject myself to the pimped out bouncer who looks like he might have a heart attack before the end of the night. Why would I subject myself to velvet ropes and pretentious women when I can get drunk with my friends at my favorite pub? Pubs are easy. Clubs are hard. Right? Wrong.
Where do women go without men? Clubs, Chip and Dales, and Museums. Since the latter two are most definitely out, clubs are the way to go. And since most clubs keep a strict 1:1 ratio (or try to anyway) you know your competition is limited. Guys, be prepared to purchase bottle service and a table if you’re traveling in packs of more than three. But if it’s just the three musketeers and you have some patience, you’ll make it in easy. Remember not to give the bouncers any excuse not to let you in though. Make sure you’re dressed for the occasion. This means you should leave you baseball cap at home, trade your sneakers for some shoes, and try to have some fun on line. Bouncers can sense whether you’ll be an addition to the club or a lame groping trio so try to keep the conversation going and the complaining to a minimum – especially when people cut. They know someone you don’t and even though I hate them too, there’s nothing we can do about it.
Back to clubs. It takes a few trips to the club to get comfortable. Try different ones to see which ones match your vibe. Some have lounges where you can talk and rest in between dancing while others have seats that are exclusive only to bottle service (which means you’re standing the whole night). Clubs have different shapes and sizes which a have huge impact on the people and vibe. You’ll see pretty soon though that clubs are not that intimidating and have much more to offer than pubs.
The dance floor is just full of women dancing in a group and the bar is just full of women listening to boring finance talk for a few free cocktails. The dance floor: so many girls dancing, so few guys. Why? It amazes me how fearful we get when it’s time to dance. For some of us, it’s the fear of rejection. For others its lack of confidence and skill I suppose. Whatever the reason, I can’t help but notice the vast amount of men standing on the perimeter of the dance floor, wanting so bad to get in, but stopping themselves.
I used to be just that way until my friend really showed me up. Never really aware of his surroundings, he’s the kind of guy who never gets embarrassed). With no reservations and an air of confidence, he glides up to groups with a smile and always steals a girl away. Now I know what you’re thinking. Telling you confidence is the key is a cop out. After all, confidence can’t be built overnight and certainly not from a few poorly written paragraphs.
So how can you get the confidence to approach any woman you want? One way is to think of something that you’re really good at. Try to think about how you’re so much better at something than the people around you in the club (in your head of course). Look smug like you’ve found something really funny and keep your head up high. Overcome the anxiety of being in a large crowded place with strangers and get over the fact that others are judging you. The truth is you’re another face and no one even notices you. Make a mental note of what others are doing but don’t compare yourself to anyone. Remember that you’re the man and make sure to think of that one thing that you’re really good at it.
The other way of course is to gain confidence from acquiring the right skills. Learning exactly how to dance in a club at home for example gives you the confidence you’ll need to do it in clubs. Why? Because you’ll know what others don’t? You’ll know the latest moves, you would have practiced them and, and you would have learned them cold. After you’ve learned how to dance, you’ll have what it takes to have more fun in clubs. You’ll know what others don’t. Imagine being that guy in the club surrounded by girls. It’s a thought that’s very possible and truly attainable. All you have to do is do your homework.
The moves you’ll learn and the confidence you’ll get from being completely prepared for any club dancing scenario will be priceless. It’ll improve your nights tremendously and allow you to have the kind of fun you’ve always imagined. Clubs are not that intimidating, you just have to know what you’re doing. It’s like snowboarding or baseball or riding a bike. Before you learn, you cringe at the idea and while you learn, you wish you never started to. It takes practice and commitment but once you’ve learned, you realize just how much fun it is.
In a moment i’ll share with you my favorite ways of how to approach girls on the dance floor.
But first, here’s how NOT to do it:
We’ve all seen the guy in the club, who just sneaks up behind a girl and tries to start grinding with her. Almost never works, since girls just find this creepy. Maybe if you’re a really … and I mean REALLY… good looking guy then you might get away with it. But more often then not they’ll just move away.
You need to approach girls on the dance floor so they see you coming.
Here’s exactly how I do it:
First, start out dancing next to them for 15 seconds or so. Doesn’t have to be longer than that, but just long enough so they see you and feel semi-comfortable, since you look like you’re having fun dancing.
Next, you get a bit closer and maybe playfully bump your hip into hers. See her reaction. If she moves away, she’s probably not interested. If she smiles, laughs then you move onto step two below.
Reach your hand out to take hers, and just spin her around. And just start dancing with her. Remember, you don’t want to be overly aggressive and try to start grinding with her right off the bat.
One of my other favorite ways how to approach girls on the dance floor is to dance over to them, look at them dancing for 2 seconds and nod like you’re impressed by their dance moves and high five them as if to say “nice moves”. It’s going to be hard for her not to high five you back.
At this point, now that you have her hand, spin her around and start dancing with her.
And if you want to see a video that shows you step by step how to approach girls on the dance floor check this out and learn exactly how to dance with a girl.
>>> How To Dance At A Club For Men – Click Here To Learn More
So it’s Friday night… and you’re heading to a club with your buddies hoping to meet some fun girls. Clubs are one of the best places to meet fun, sexy girls… IF you do it right.
Remember, most girls that you see in the club have been going out clubbing every weekend and they’ve pretty much heard it all. So here’s how to stand out from the crowd with my 7 point checklist for how to pick up girls in clubs:
1. First, don’t look at going clubbing as putting in work to meet girls. Go out to have a great time with your friends. And don’t make it a mission to absolutely meet a girl that night and get her number. This way you’ll be so much more relaxed when talking to her.
2. Don’t hesitate when you see a girl you want to meet. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t be conscious of the situation… sometimes she’s clearly in the middle of a serious conversation. But more often than not, the longer you wait the more time you’ll give yourself to make an excuse and not to go over or hype her up in your mind so that you’re too nervous to approach.
3. Stop thinking you have to say something brilliant. You don’t. She’s just tired of guys being nervous and looking uncomfortable. She’s totally happy talking to you about whatever you want to talk about as long as you look comfortable and relaxed. And just ask her questions. This way you do less work and she gets to do what she loves best: talk about herself.
4. Don’t ALWAYS joke around. It’s good to tell her you’re an ass model… but if she asks you “But, really what do you do?” don’t keep telling her the same thing. Doesn’t mean she wants to have a serious conversation with you… but she does want to know that you can be real with her too.
5. Be the fun, party guy. Girls go out to a club to party and dance. They hardly even want to talk to their girlfriends that much. They did that on Wednesday night over dinner. So now they just want to let loose, do some shots and dance to their favorite songs.
6. Get on the dance floor. Most guys avoid the dance floor like the plague so you’ll have almost no competition.
7. Learn how to dance. Like any other skill, nobody is born a great dancer. But once you know how you’ll stop wondering how to pick up girls in the club, and just dance with them. It’ll be so much easier to meet girls every night you go out since they’ll see you as the party guy who’s just out having a good time dancing with them… instead of the guy who’s trying to have a serious conversation when they just want to let loose and dance. To learn how to dance at a club, click on this link and check out our entire line of club dance lessons.
If clubbing is something that puts you out of your comfort zone, (and believe me, it did just that to me for years), then have things to do when you go out to give you a purpose. That’s because it’s all about body language in a club where most women can tell right away if you’re not having fun.
If you are not used to going out to clubs, consider hitting up this list of “checkpoints,” each of which builds up your social proof and makes you more attractive to every woman in the club so that you never look lost and never give off that “lingering” vibe. Your job, from the first moment you walk in, so to make every woman believe that you are there just to have fun and that you are not there to pickup.
The club you go to IS important. You want to go to the same places, and get to know the staff. We’ll give a few tips on how to interact with bouncers and waitstaff to improve your social status and to make you feel comfortable below. Stop googling the coolest club in your town. Most high-end clubs have limited dancing because people don’t want to be judged (note, this is especially true in the big cities and in cities where there is a bigger lounge culture than dance club scene). Instead, go to a smaller venue (one with nooks and crannies as opposed to one large box where everyone can see your successes and failures), and keep going back week after week. Make friends with the staff and you’ll feel like home every time you go there.
Check out a club where your going to stand out. If you’re a student, check out an after work club. If your going to a club famous for attracting the finance crowd, wear a nice looking hoodie and tee-shirt. Your odds are going to improve tremendously when you’re the one to break from the mold.
Head out a little earlier than you would have otherwise. It’s easier to get into the nightclub of your choice and the people inside will be more accessible. Keep it to the three musketeers More than three men in your group will hurt your chances of getting into a nice place.
Make a few jokes and meet people waiting on line with you. People tend to be more receptive outside, men including women, and you can use the women you meet to build up your social proof once your inside.
Go out with women. Whether it’s your sister, your co-worker, or a group of women you just met in the pizzeria, going out with women immediately increases your attractiveness.
Make eye contact with the first woman you see when you walk in. Be confident. If she reciprocates, you’ve just found excellent social proof. If she’s by the entrance, that probably means she just walked in as well – which means shes more likely to respond since she doesn’t know that many people either. If you are stumped for openers, try commentating on the line, or tell her not to waste her time waiting for a drink at the bar in front of you, that you know of another one upstairs that has a lot less people.
Be the man when you walk in. Be pumped. Enjoy yourself. You’re there to have a good time. You know you can dance, you know the rules of the game, and you know that in a few minutes you’ll be dancing with one of the hottest girls in the club. Have a few drinks with your buddies back home before the club, chug a redbull, be energetic from the first moment you enter the club. Tap your toes, move your head, your hips, and have a smile on your face, a cocky smile that says I’m the man, I love clubbing, I am here to have tons of fun.
No one knows who you are when you enter the club. Therefore everything you do from that moment on either improves your social status (and your attraction), or decreases it. Don’t stare at anyone when you walk in. Simply meet eye contact with whomever is looking at you and reciprocate a smile. Make a mental note of which women were checking you out when you came in.
Make noise and laugh. Laugh even if theirs is nothing to laugh about. Laugh because your friend is laughing. The louder, more obnoxious, and oblivious to the world around you, you are, the more attractive you’ll be to the women around you.
Establish social proof in a certain section of the club. The more women you dance with and have a good time with, the more other women in the area will want you. If you get rejected though, don’t attempt a quick rebound pick up right away. It’ll see like you are just playing the numbers game and are willing to talk to anyone.
Ok boys, I left this tip for last because I think it’s by the far most important. But it’s funny because every time I bring it up to my students, I always get a groan; they think its obvious. But let me tell you, having fun when you go out, whether it’s on the dance floor or off, is the single most important thing you can do to help your game in the club.
As we talked about earlier, the only thing to go by in the club is body language. And when you are having fun with your friends, your body reflects your emotions completely, making you levels more attractive to every woman in the club. Before you even go out, you’ve gotta get yourself in the right state of mind. Have a few beers with your boys. Check out your local radio station for a list of today’s most popular music and get used to hanging out to that music. Have a redbull. Have two. When you walk into a club and make eye contact with the first woman you see, everyone should know that you’re there to have fun. Clap your hands, tap your foot. Feel the music and pass on the energy. Call up friends you haven’t seen in a while so that you have tons to talk about you go out. When women see that you’re out to have fun with your friends and that you don’t have ulterior motives, they’ll automatically be attracted to you because you’ll be one of the only guys in the club with that state of mind. Then they’ll be the ones with the ulterior motive, and that’ll be to snap you up before another girl does,.
Having fun in the club is not easy, especially when its not your thing. Check out clubs that are slightly off the beaten track. It’s better to be the man in a smaller club than be lost in a more popular one. Frequent the same places on a regular basis and get in good with the staff. It’ll make you feel like home every time you go, make you feel more comfortable, and will sky rocket your social proof.
But I assure you, that after a few weeks out, especially with the success that you’ll have on the dance floor when you learn exactly how to dance in a club, you’ll wonder why you never hit up clubs before.
How to Make Girls Lauch
For something that should seem simple, it was only recently that I realized what it takes to make girls laugh.
For the longest time, I thought girls would be attracted to the same types of jokes and humor that my guy friends are into. They would love the sarcastic wit and cleverness that my guy friends always seemed to enjoy. Comedy is universal after all, right?
While girls were ignoring my attempts at humor, I was constantly watching friends who were not witty at all landing girls from every side. What was it? What did I need to do to make women laugh?
What do women find funny?
I picked up a book about four years ago that had some great ideas in it about how to make women laugh. Among them was that women like a guy who’s cocky and funny. This made sense – women were always going for the “bad guy”, right? – so I thought I’d give it a try.
When I would go out, trying to make women laugh, immediately I’d start in being sarcastic and ironic, almost bullying the women. While some women were immediately against that kind of humor, I was getting a few positive reactions so I went with it.
I found out that the women who I was getting the positive reactions from were, let’s say, the “tomboys” of the group. The more masculine girls out there, probably the ones who have been hanging out with their own brothers and father more than they were their sisters and mother. Not bad overall, but a small minority of the women out there. In other words, while I was a hit among this small section of women, I was leaving a large group of girls – the ordinary girls – out there.
One day I decided to spend an entire night watching my friend Will interact with girls. Will wasn’t what I’d call hilarious, but he always had girls around him that were having a fun time. While the girls weren’t in stitches, he was still getting his fair share of ladies on a constant basis. And he was using nothing but fun times, not cleverly worded puns or one-liners.a
And then it hit me: Girls don’t want funny, they want fun! Just like the Cyndi Lauper song!
Will was having all sorts of fun with these girls. Whether it was just telling them knock-knock jokes or tickling them, he was like a kid on the schoolyard out there. And that’s what I realized: I needed to be a school kid out there. Women don’t care about cleverness, they just want to have fun. They don’t want dark, indie movie. They want romantic comedy.
Instead of pretending to be all sophisticated and cool with your dark humor, take the stick out of your ass and just have a fun time. That’s all that the women want, someone to have fun with.
So when you’re out there, remember: Fun, not funny.
>>> Check out Conversation Escalation: Make Small Talk Sexy and learn how to instantly generate attraction through the way you talk to women.
Guys have been known to make mistakes. Forgetting anniversaries, leaving the toilet seat up, and forgetting to take out the trash all come up with territory. But did you know you might be making mistakes on the dance floor too? And we’re not talking about that moon walk you probably shouldn’t have busted out, or that girl you probably shouldn’t have danced with. We’re talking dance moves, and the most common mistakes most beginners make out on the dance floor:
>>> Dance Floor Mistake #1: Avoiding The Dance Floor
This is an obvious point but needs to be addressed. Many guys are just not comfortable dancing and avoid the situation altogether. The solution here is just to simply “do it.” We hate to use the Nike slogan as dance floor advice… but the only way to get comfortable with it is to just do it a whole bunch of times. You will be amazed how quickly you’ll stop feeling self-conscious.
Make it a goal to dance with a few girls every night you go out and if you don’t know what you’re doing, just mimic the moves everyone around you is doing. Check out our article for how to pretend you are a good dancer for more tips. And of course, alcohol helps here too.
>>> Dance Floor Mistake #2: Body Language
When you do any dance move you need to do it by oozing confidence. You need to have that look on your face like you’re the man and you know without a doubt that you’re an amazing dancer, even if it isn’t yet true.
Any move with more “energy” behind it looks better. That’s like the big dance “secret.” An average move performed by a guy who’s smiling and having fun with it is much more attractive than a better dancer doing a more complicated move with no energy and a blank stare.
Girls can sense this and its a major turn off. It communicates that you are either self-conscious and uncomfortable with yourself or bored — neither of which is what you want.
You should always be having fun when you’re dancing. That’s the whole point of it. Girls can sense when you’re not having fun and it makes them feel uncomfortable.
>>>Dance Floor Mistake #3: Let A Smile Curve Up Your Face While Dancing
The smile climbs the chart in the most immediate thing most guys mess up when their dancing in clubs. Eye contact and a strong smile are must do’s before a successful approach on the dance floor. Even the best moves will not make the impression you want if you’re facial expressions are all wrong. Imagine dancing next to someone for 5 minutes who looks like their bored, or worse… uncomfortable. They will instantly make YOU feel uncomfortable… and when girls feel uncomfortable they walk away, or go back to dancing with their friends.
The trick about the smile is not to wear it all night, but to let it out only after you’ve made eye contact, like after you’ve seen an old friend.
>>>Dance Floor Mistake #4: Approach Girls From The Back With A “Grinding” Move
We’ve all seen the guy in the club, who just sneaks up behind a girl and tries to start grinding with her. It almost never works. Girls just find it creepy. And it’s a sure way to fail on the dance floor. Maybe if you’re a really … and I mean REALLY… good looking guy then you might get away with it. But more often then not they’ll just move away. You need to approach girls on the dance floor so they see you coming. And you need to start out with a move other than grinding. For more on this, check out this article on the number one club dancing sin you can make.
>>>Dance Floor Mistake #5: Too Much Grinding
When you just start dancing with a girl you don’t want to start immediately grinding. You want to first start dancing about a foot apart from each other. This is the perfect opportunity to show off your dance moves. If you don’t have any yet don’t worry. For now, just do a simple two step while spinning her around a few times. Want to get in closer? Do so after you’ve been dancing for a while and spin her around so that her back is facing you. More often than not she will move in closer to you and start grinding.
When you don’t start immediately grinding and instead make her feel comfortable while having fun with her on the dance floor she will soon enough move in closer for the grind. When you’re grinding with her you don’t want to grind for too long either.
Instead, make her want more. Spin them around, dance in front of them, spin them some more, grind a bit, spin them back out, grind for a bit longer — this is the recipe. It’s not to see how long you can grind with her for. That’s what every other guy does and it’s already played out. When she sees you doing something else you will immediately stand out from the crowd. Let the grinding be her idea. And believe us when we tell you that she will start and when you “back away” she will follow you for more. Her “chasing” you like this on the dance floor will amp up the attraction, so just keep that in mind.
>>>Dance Floor Mistake #6: Not Leading
In Dancing, Men Lead and Women Follow. Sure, it’s 2015 and some people are going to disagree. But when it comes to dancing the night away and sweeping that special someone off their feet, it’s all about leading your partner on the dance floor. Show her you are a confident leader by spinning her around, cover lots of space on the dance floor instead of being tucked away on the edge, and by changing up level as you dance (more on that below). If you don’t feel you’re a good enough dancer to lead her yet, then don’t worry about it for now. Just work with what you have and when you get better, be sure to keep it in mind.
>>>Dance Floor Mistake #7: Only Dancing With The First Girl You Meet
When you’re out clubbing don’t feel that you have to only dance with just the one girl you met early in the night. When you know how to dance and get confident on the dance floor, you’ll be able to approach and dance with whomever you want. Seeing you dancing with more girls will make whomever you have your eye on want you that much more. When dancing with several different women, make sure you are seen as the fun guy who knows how to have a great time on the dance floor rather than someone who is just getting around. “Regular guys” don’t do that. So when you’re surrounded and dancing with several girls and having a blast, you’ll immediately stand out and become more attractive to everyone around you.
>>>Dance Floor Mistake #8: “Two Steps Forward, One Step Back”
The secret to having girls all over you on the dance floor is to “tease” them. Always leave them wanting more. Guys never do this. Guys will just stand there and grind with them until they get bored and leave. Don’t make this mistake.
Instead, just as things start getting “hot and heavy” take a step back. Then take “two steps forward”… and amp up the attraction, touching, grinding even more than before… and then pull back again.
>>> Click here to learn how to grind with girls!
>>>Dance Floor Mistake #9: Don’t “Make Fun” Of Your Own Dance Moves
Here’s what I mean: Often I’ll see a guy who knows he’s not a good dancer, and at one point in the night either his friends will start dancing or some girl friend of his will try to dance with him…
… And he’ll do a really, goofy exaggerated dance moves that’s meant to be a joke. Often, he’ll get a half-laugh out of his friends.
But here’s the problem: Everyone else will see this and they’ll interpret that as you’re making fun of your own dance moves. And that’s not attractive. Girls want to see guys who KNOW how to dance… and they’ll just interpret you dancing goofy as you making fun of yourself in hopes of drawing attention to yourself.
>>>Dance Floor Mistake #10: Don’t Worry About Getting Rejected.
That’s because the truth is, that you WILL almost certainly get rejected at some point in the night. Most girls love dancing. And girls love dancing with guys. The truth us, most girls want to have their very own “Dirty Dancing Moment” when they go out. They want to meet a fun guy who knows how to move… and just “dance the night away” with him. ,
Sure, there will be one or 2 groups of girls in a club, who just went out to dance with each other (they’re usually married or in serious relationships… and just want to have a girls night out).
But 99% of girls you see out dancing, would love it if a guy approached them, and started dancing with them. The KEY is knowing how to dance… and approaching the RIGHT way… rather than the WRONG way… which almost always ends in rejection.
Most girls you see dancing by themselves are literally waiting for YOU to approach THEM. The reason you often see hot girls dancing and grinding with their girlfriends… and not with guys… is because most guys are either too intimidated to approach them… or they’re not confident with their own dance moves… to think they even have a shot.
But here’s the thing. Even if you’ve got “Brad Pit” looks, sometimes you will get rejected. It happens. Whether it’s a bad day at work, or just not the right timing, even the perfect approach on the dance floor can result in a rejection.
Simply don’t let it phase you and keep your head up high. Most of the time it has nothing to do with you at all. Simply brush it off and keep on having fun!
>>> Bonus Tip: Don’t “Lurk” or “Hover Around” Girls You Want To Approach
This tip is absolutely crucial. You have to “train” yourself to the point where once you see a group of hot girls you instantly approach. There’s no counting to three. No thinking about how they might react. You just see them dancing, and being the good dancer that you are… you know they’re going to be thrilled to dance and have fun with you. So you instantly and confidently approach without hesitations. (Just make sure you approach them from the front… and please, PLEASE don’t try to start immediately grinding with her.)
A lot of guys will make the mistake of hovering around a group of girls they want to approach… and they’ll just stand there checking them out… while they’re deciding whether they’re going to approach them, or not. The problem here, is by the time you work up the courage to approach, they’re already not interested… because they view guys like this as creepy.
Don’t walk around the dance floor looking for girls. If you need to walk through, walk with your friends and walk with a purpose. If your not on the dance floor, don’t stare in, get a drink. Chat with your friends, don’t give it the attention it does not deserve.
Don’t stare into the dance floor If you’re not on the dance floor, then don’t look at it. Kinda of like beer pong and guitar hero, theres some uncanny magnetic force that makes everyone look and face toward the dance floor, watching other people have fun. Don’t do it. If you’re not dancing, find something else to do and keep away from that gravitation pull of the dance floor. If women catching you starting into the black whole, they will brand you as a creep.
Finally, don’t let your dance moves hold you back from going out and having a blast. Dancing is the type of thing you just have to do and get used to. You can only get better with practice.
And if you guys want to REALLY accelerate this entire learning process and learn exactly how to dance at a club, then I highly recommend you get your hands on a copy of Own The Dance Floor, the complete series.
Inside, you’ll learn the hottest “club-style” dance moves, all the grinding moves and how to approach girls on the dance floor. You’ll learn the exact moves to approach girls dancing in the club, start dancing with them, and how smoothly transition from dancing to grinding within just a few minutes. Most guys do this all wrong, and it often ends in rejection.
There’s over 5 hours of back to back dance lessons on these DVDs. We break down every move for you step by step… and make sure to go slow so that even if you have two left feet, you can learn all these moves.
And of-course every DVD comes with a 60 day money back guarantee. So if it’s not EXACTLY what you were hoping for, just let us know and you’ll instantly get every penny back.
The bottom line is, if these DVDs don’t transform you into a much, much better dancer, then we simply don’t deserve to keep your money.
Get all the details and watch the video preview here:
P.S. Here is another BONUS Tip
Stay away from the “circle of death.” Make a note of the size and make of groups before you approach women on the dance floor. Any woman standing around alone is a good target to approach. If she is alone because her friend is with a guy, she’ll be jealous and more open to your advance. If she’s waiting for a drink, she’s probably worried about looking like a loser standing alone and will welcome your company. And in the case her boyfriend is in the bathroom, just gently exit the situation with a smile. With a circle of girls, don’t be one of many guys standing on the outskirts and peering in. If you’re really got your eyes on one of the girls, make a note of when she goes to the bar and try to pick her up there. Or, if you’re seen as having tons of fun, dancing with other women, and then again with just your friends, girls of the group will actually open up and practically invite you in.
Living in Manhattan, we go out to clubs and bars pretty often. And nearly every night, we see almost ALL the guys making the same exact MAJOR mistake when they go up and try to dance with girls.
And this mistake gets them rejected nearly every time.
Imagine the following two scenarios in a club… with two different guys, approaching the same girl… and see if you can spot the mistake one of these guys is making.
Now just for the record, both of these guys are equally good-looking and equally well-dressed… they’re just using two different “strategies” for initially dancing with girls…
>>> Scenario #1:
There’s a cute girl dancing in a club, and a guy she’s never met before comes over to dance with her. He approaches her from the back, and places his hand on her hips and starts grinding with her.
>>> Scenario #2:
Ten minutes later, a different guy she’s also never met approaches this same girl… but from where she can see him coming… and starts out dancing maybe about a foot away.
He does this for a minute or so to make her feel comfortable, and only then does he spin her closer into him for more “intimate” dancing…
Which guy do you think this girl is most likely to dance with… and which guy do you think she’ll just reject right off the bat?
If you guessed she’s rejecting the first guy… you’re dead on.
Forget the fact that he “sneak-approached” her from the back (something you NEVER want to do)…
… but this guy committed the number 1 club dancing sin – he tried to start GRINDING with her right off the bat!
This almost always ends in rejection.
The only 4 situations where you’ll see a guy approach and the girl will start grinding with him right off the bat is their either dating, friends, he’s “Brad Pitt” good-looking, or she’s just very drunk.
Here’s what to do instead:
First off, always approach her from the front. Try to mirror her dancing so you two are in the same beat, and just do your usual dance moves about 1 foot apart from her. Make sure you’re smiling.
Note: I know this sounds like such an obvious thing to say, but most guys look wayyy too serious when they’re dancing. Like they’re struggling through a long day at the office…
Smiling is absolutely KEY when dancing with girls. Dancing is supposed to be fun. You smiling will show her you’re actually having fun and aren’t nervous or uncomfortable… and you’ll make HER feel much more comfortable around you.
And remember… girls only dance with guys they feel comfortable around. It doesn’t matter how good-looking some guy is, if she feels creeped out by the way he approached her, she’ll just back away.
So… let’s rewind a bit… You’ve just approached her, and started dancing with her a little ways apart.
At this point, you’re not really dancing *with* her. You’re just dancing next to her… giving her a minute or 2 to get used to you, and to feel comfortable around you.
Now, reach out for her hand, and spin her in a drop closer to you. At this point, just keep dancing for another minute or so.
Next, our personal favorite thing to do is to spin her in closer… and instead of just letting go off her hand… just smoothly place it on the back of your neck.
When you do this, the two of you are so close that the only natural thing to do next… is to just start grinding.
And here’s something else to keep in mind:
Most girls don’t really know how to dance that well themselves. The easiest thing for THEM to do with guys is just to grind up on them.
So, usually the girl will just turn around, and start grinding with you… and you’ll barely have to actually do anything!
And this all occurred simply from changing up your strategy a bit… and approaching her a different way.
Because now, in her mind, everything the two of you do is framed as “having fun dancing with a guy who’s out having a good time”.
She’s happy to dance the night away, grinding with a guy who looks like he’s out having fun… but NOT with the “the creepy, random guy who came over to grind with her”.
Because in her mind… she sees one of the guys as a creepy guy who just wants to rub up on her… and the other guy as wanting to DANCE with her… and have FUN.
So the same hot and heavy grinding isn’t really “grinding” in her mind… it’s just innocent DANCING and having FUN.
Kind of weird, I know, but that’s just how girls think about it…
I hope this makes sense to you… let me know if you have any questions and I’ll do my best to clear anything up.
Try it out, and let us know what happens.
All the best,
The Learn Club Dance Team
P.S. Be sure to check out Turn Up The Heat – Dance Floor Grinding Secrets by clicking on “Learn More.” You’ll learn all of the hottest grinding techniques, hot, flirtatious ways of bringing in a girl closer to you, club-specific, practical dance moves you can do while dancing apart, and everything you need, to know exactly how to dance at a club.
P.P.S Keep your eyes peeled for an upcoming post on how to use your dance moves to kiss close on the dance floor. It’s going to reveal our step-by-step technique to taking an interaction from just meeting a girl on the dance floor… all the way to making out with her… all within just a few songs…. And in the meantime, check out our proven dance system to learn how you can dance at a club smoothly and naturally. without ever worrying about your dance moves again.